3 Days, 60 miles….

And it all starts  tomorrow.  I can’t believe that the DC 3Day is already here.  I am as physically ready as I am mentally ready, I think.   I am all packed… sleeping bag,  check….two pairs of sneakers,  check… socks with wicking,  check… fleece jacket, check….rain jacket,  check (but hoping it won’t need to be used)… hat, gloves, scarf… check, check, check… and it is all  packed in zip lock bags to protect in case of rain.

While I have participated in the 3day for the past 9 years I have crewed for the last 5 and I would by lying if I said I wasn’t a bit nervous about the walk.  I am nervous but I am also really excited. I am looking forward to really physically challenging myself, to having more time to get to talk to the other walkers, hear their stories about why they are walking and to experience the other side of the 3Day.

I am also looking forward to having some time to re-connect with what (and who) is really important and to truly disconnect from work and my day-day.

This morning I arrived in DC, courtesy of another Philadelphia area 3Dayer who is crewing here. On the drive down we talked about how and why we got involved in the 3Day. She is a 15 year survivor. 15 years cancer free!   We talked about how difficult it is to truly explain the 3day to those that have not participated.  We talked about the uniqueness of being a 3Dayer and how the experience has fundamentally changed who we are.

I will blog about my 3Day experiences and I have been reading some others who have blogged about theirs. However, I am pretty sure that no matter how hard I try I will not be able to truly capture the spirit, energy, sense of kindness and community that is the 3day.

The 3Day is founded on pretty simple thinking. ..If you challenge ordinary people to do extraordinary things they can accomplish the impossible. You just need to give them a goal and a direction. That is the simplicity of the 3day and that is why I return year after year. 

I am looking forward to getting started, but for now I am going to go check to make sure that I haven’t forgotten anything and go to bed. Tomorrow will be an early, but great day.

12 weeks

Today is a milestone. Today I completed a 12 week Weight Watchers journal. I haven’t journaled for 12 weeks in a row in at least 2 years.  I was inspired by my WW friend S. When I was home in July, S. looked great and said that she had been journaling every day and was really noticing a difference in both her attitude and her weight.

I know that when I journal I feel better, more in control and the more in control I feel the better I am about making smart food choices. That is the key … make smarter food choices.

So, S. inspired me and I started journaling again. This time I tracked more then just my points. I kept track of the days I worked out and what type of exercise I did. I kept track of the meals that I ate out. I kept track of the days we were in Amsterdam, Liepzig and Venice.  I kept track of any big stressers at work.

And , with all that tracking I can look back and really analyze what is going on and when I am eating because of hunger vs. when I am stressed or bored. If I was my husband I would have created an Excel spreadsheet with formulas, macros and pivot tables to assist in my analysis, but I just have my 12 week journal. I find something  oddly comforting in being able to flip through the pages and see the weeks go by, the symbols at that top and bottom of each page signifying number of days tracked, number of work outs, hours of sleep.  Each of those pages signifying a day that I really focused on what I was doing for myself. 

So, what does all that tracking and analysis tell me…. In 12 weeks I stayed within my points range 77 days. In 12 weeks I worked out 68 times. In 12 weeks I ate out 14 times.  In 12 weeks I lost 4.5 pounds.

Tomorrow I start a new 12 weeks journal and am looking forward to see what the results will be.

C is for….

It has been over a week since my last post  because I can’t come up with a good C.  So, while I am sorry to say this… C is is going to have to be for  Conflicted.

I know I said it wouldn’t be, but since doing the alphabet challenge I have been struggling to come up with a good C and I still haven’t done  it.  And, honestly I am tired of stressing about it.  So, while I think it is a bit cheating (oh, I guess that could be what c is for) C is going to be have to be for conflicted.

D will be more creative for sure.

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This is the third (or fourth, depending on how you are counting) installment of a blogging challenge that I am doing along with  Courtney , City Wendy and Charlotte, JadePark  and Lounalune  (there might be others, but so far I haven’t found them yet) called Alphabet: A History. The idea is to work through the alphabet by writing short memoir-like pieces.  I never saw a set of rules for this blogging challenge, so I am not clear if the challenge requires you complete the alphabet in order or if you can randomly work your way through the alphabet.  I like the order of things, so I am going in order.

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Conflicted

Today is one of those days that I am really conflicted.  I am conflicted between a decision that a key business leader that I work very closely work with made vs. what professionally and personally I believe is the right thing to do. I am not the only one who disagrees and no matter what approach we took, this person would not be dissuaded.

I so fundamentally do not agree with the way we are moving forward with this topic that I was literally in tears when I read the email and if I was a knee-jerk reaction kind of person I would have quit my job today.

I  have years of experience, am recognized as a subject matter expert in the topic area, both internally and externally. I believe that I have at least a small grasp on our business, but on days like today I really question the value that I bring to the organization. Am I just running on a gerbil wheel while hitting my head against a brick wall?

I am not a knee-jerk reaction kind of person, so I have been working all day on executing something that I don’t agree with. I have spent my day torn between being angry, sad and apathetic. Currently I am at the apathetic stage. I am in total execution mode and have completely stepped out of the consulting role I am supposed to play. I have been open about this and will of course not do anything to de-rail the work, but I am  conflicted.

The other conflict is more of an internal conflict. If it disturbs me so, maybe I should have said “I understand and appreciate your point of view, but I fundamentally don’t believe that is the right thing to do. So, while I respect the decision I don’t want to be a part of it. I am willing to take the consequences, but please take me out of the process”.  Maybe I should have stood firmer for my principles.  And,  that is at the heart of the internal conflict; maybe I am not the principled person that I always thought I was.

I have always thought that I knew what my non-negotiables are and I would have placed money on the fact that from a professional perspective this is one of them. But, then why didn’t I say that I wanted out and taken the consequences?

I know that the world will not come to an end because of this decision. No one will live or die because of this decision. No ones life is going to be changed in any major way because of this decision. So, maybe I am also just taking this a bit too seriously.

I will most likely get over this and in the next days some new drama will replace this one, but for today I am conflicted.

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PS: for those of you that have been following the Alphabet challenge, it is just a coincidence that this post title starts with a “c” and the next letter I should blog about is a “c”.  This is NOT my C is for…. entry. You will have to stay tuned for that one.

B is for Blueberries

I am ten years old.  My brothers S. and E. , 9 and 7 respectively.  It is a perfect August day in Truro.  Sun is shining with just the first hint of the glorious sunset that will happen over Provincetown Bay later.  A cool breeze is starting, indicating that we will need sweatshirts later when we go to play miniature golf.  We are tan from having spent the whole summer at the beach. We are carefree, as only children of that age can be. We are back from our daily routine of arts and crafts camp in the morning, swimming lessons and frolicking with our friends on the beach in the afternoon. We are showered and waiting for dinner.  We are for sure driving my mom a bit nuts while she makes dinner. We are  probably fighting over whose turn it is to choose what is on tv*.

P. my mom calls out “why don’t you take your brothers and those buckets up the road and pick blueberries?”  What magical words!

Visions of  big, fat,  muffins warm out of the oven split open down the middle with butter melting quicker then you can spread it and fresh jam. Images of perfectly round, fluffy stacks of pancakes with powdered sugar and Vermont maple syrup dripping down the sides. Memories of  pies made last summer with their perfectly crisp baked crusts cooled on the windowsill  and then re-heated in the oven with the frehest vanilla ice cream or home made whip cream on the side. 

Wait! Did she say ”why don’t you take your brothers?” What no adult needed? What sheer joy and clearly the first signs that I was an “adult” and could be trusted! For my entire life blueberry picking always required an adult to make sure we didn’t get lost in the trees up the road and more importantly, to make sure that we actually brought home some berries. They could disappear almost as quickly as they ended up in our buckets.

To ensure that we brought home blueberries,  her question was punctuated with a further statement….”The one who brings home the most berries gets to choose how they are used.”

Off my brothers and I go, each with our own galvinized pail to bring home the results of our hard work.

On the way my brothers and I discuss the best spot to start our picking. Did we think there would already be others out picking? How many blueberries are actually needed to make a pie? muffins? pancakes? Were we better off pooling our resources so that more blueberries could be eaten as we picked or was it to be every sibling for themselves?

I was focused on making sure we didn’t get lost and on picking, and of course eating blueberries as we went.  I felt very responsible for my brothers and ensuring that we didn’t disappoint my mom and that we brought home enough of the goods that my mom could bake something.

That late afternoon a lot of blueberries were picked and I am pretty sure we got muffins and pie, but I could have that confused with a different blueberry picking marathon that happened that summer or the summers that followed.

The summer I was 10 was a rite of passage; the first adult responsibilty my mom entrusted me with.  Ever since, blueberry season feels like a rite of passage with all the possibilities that summer has to offer. Now I buy my blueberries at the farmers maket.  I occassionaly make muffins with my mom’s recipe. More often then not, I eat them in my cereal or with yogurt and honey for breakfast. Sometimes for dessert with some whip cream.  Regardless of how I am eating them, when I buy the first blueberries of the summer I am transported, at least for a few minutes, to those carefree days of the summer spent in Truro picking blueberries with my brothers.

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*as an adult I now realize that while my brothers and I were on summer vaction, this was no vacation for my mom. It was simply the same routine in a different, albeit beautiful, setting.

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This is the second installment of a blogging challenge that I am doing along with  Courtney , City Wendy and Charlotte  (there might be others, but so far I haven’t found them yet) called Alphabet: A History. The idea is to work through the alphabet by writing short memoir-like pieces.  I never saw a set of rules for this blogging challenge, so I am not clear if the challenge requires you complete the alphabet in order or if you can randomly work your way through the alphabet.  I like the order of things, so I am going in order.

A is for Anniversary

Today is my wedding anniversary. Well I guess to be accurate it is my husband and my wedding anniversary. Two years ago today we  said “I do”.  If  I am completely honest, I never really thought I would get married. I wanted to, but I wasn’t convinced that my then boyfriend would ever ask.

It wasn’t that I needed to be married to know that he loved me or was committed to me. After 6 years of being together I knew that.  But,  I have always found the public and personal statement of getting married to be something very romantic,  special, remarkable…. I struggle for the right word, so will settle for wonderful.

Our wedding was on the beach, low keyed, good food, great music and our favorite family and friends to help us celebrate the occassion. It was exactly the day we wanted it to be. If it had to be done again, we would do exactly the same. 

Unlike many of our friends who really struggled in the first year of their marriage ours was relatively stress free, if you discount the stress of moving country less than 3 months later.   I actually think the picking up of house and moving 1/2 way around the world was a perfect way to start off our marriage. It has taught us how to really work together and be a team. It has allowed us to experience so many firsts together. It permits us to spend a lot of time just the two of us,  and as amazing as this is to me, there are still new things that we learn about each other, even after eight years of being together.

I am grateful that we are on this great adventure together, appreciate more than words could ever say about my husband, am grateful that we have thrown our lots in together and honored to be a wife to him. He does make me a better person.

On this our second anniversary my husband and  I will have a nice dinner, put on some Billy Joel, have a glass of champagne and if I am lucky we will dance to our song (read as my husband hates to dance and almost refused to do a first dance at our wedding). We will not give each other gifts as last year we started a tradition of taking a trip to celebrate, but we will give each a card.  In my card to him I will reference our vows. We wrote our own vows, loosely based on the versus of  our Ketubah.  Our vows are a simple set of promises we made to each other.  Simple in theory, some days harder in practice. But,  each day I try my best to uphold the vows  and promises we made to each other.  

Happy Anniversary JB!

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Last month several people I know read started to do a blogging challenge called Alphabet: A History. The idea is to work through the alphabet in short memoir-like pieces.  Figure A for Anniversary was a great place to start. Thanks Courtney and City Wendy.

An Unattended Funeral

Today a funeral will take place for an old family friend. He had been pretty sick for the last few months so his passing is not a surprise, but sad none the less.  He lived a long full life and the stories that he could tell about his childhood, leaving Germany during the war, time in Shanghai and then immigrating the US are amazing.  What he then personally and professionally accomplished,  no less amazing.

I came to know this man through my husband. He and my father-in-law, who I never met, were childhood friends and even through the immigration from Shanghai to the US seemed to stay in touch and remained a part of each others lives. 

This family and my husbands families are intertwined in a way that sometimes real families are not. Their daughter is like the sister my husband never had and K. says that my husband is the brother she wishes she had.  

My husband tells me of the support that they provided when my father -in-law passed away and of the joint family dinners, holiday celebrations and good times spent together over the years.  There seem to be so many great memories, some of which I have because this man, from the first time I met him, accepted me into their extended family and was always interested in what I was doing and how things were going.

I am sad that my husband and I will not be at the funeral to honor this man, provide comfort and support to his wife and daughter and to hear the stories that are shared by others who knew and cared for him.  This is without a doubt the hardest part about living so far way. But, I know that they know that we are thinking of them and while not physically with them, we are there in spirit.

This week I could have blogged about….

Family Good News

My dad and his girlfriend got engaged!! 17 years they have been together and they got engaged this week. I couldn’t be more thrilled for them or to officially welcome P. into our family. I mean, after 17 years together she is certainly a part of our family, but it will so nice to be able to introduce her as my step-mom instead of my dad’s girlfriend. That sounds so stupid. Over the years we have tried other terms… partner… significant other…. but one sounds sillier then the next. Step-mom is going to sound just right.

A spring wedding will be planned and I am already looking forward to flying to the States for this one.

The heat

Earlier in the week it was so bloody hot here in Germany. On Thursday the  temp topped out at about 97 degrees with about 100% humidity. This is typical weather for Philadelphia where people and buildings are prepared to deal with the heat. Not so typical for Germany where there is no infrastructure for this weather. Nothing is air conditioned. Not our flat… not my office…. not restaurants or bars. So far the only thing I have found to be air conditioned is the movie theatre and the Starbucks. 

The outfits in the office when it is bloody hot in Germany

To quote a friends facebook  status “Hottest day of the year in Germany… serious crimes against fashion being committed in Walldorf.”

My personal philosophy is that if I wouldn’t wear it to the beach,  you shouldn’t be wearing it to the office.

I get that it is hot out, and I am all about wearing comfy, cool clothes this time of year, but short shorts with a tank top and flip flops is not office attire, unless you are a life guard.

Training Walks

It is under 50 days until I fly home to participate in the D.C.  Breast Cancer 3Day . I have been doing my training walks, even in the horrible heat. I am getting excited for the event,  looking forward to spending time with my friends and meeting new friends along the way.

And now, for the shameless plug… if it is under 50 days til the walk, that means you have under 50 days to donate to the cause. Just click on the link above to donate.

Holland

Last weekend my husband and I went to Holland to visit a colleague.  We have done a fair amount of travel since moving to Germany, but typically we are tourists so it was great to be in Holland and stay with someone who lives there.  To really get a sense of what living in the country feels like. Her home is lovely and it was great fun to go to the supermarket. My husband and I often do that when we travel,  but is fabulous to have someone who could explain to us the  products we aren’t familiar with. Best part of the supermarket?  I found my favorite yogurt, which I haven’t been able to find in Germany. Who knew they would have it in Holland? 

The country is beautiful. Small, but beautiful. To give you some context the whole country is smaller then the  Stadt of Baden Wurtenberg. Holland is rich with history and the way they have used the water to their advantage is amazing.  There are canals everywhere and the water makes the land so rich and fertile.

I am sorry that we didn’t go during tulip season, but maybe next year.

Tracking Points

I was really inspired by my WW friend S. when I was home. She is recently back to WW after having her second baby and said she was religiously tracking all of her points. Since moving to Germany I have been pretty lax about tracking points. I was mentally tracking them,  but measuring and writing it all down I hadn’t been doing.  I find it harder to do here, as the nutrition labels don’t contain all the needed information, but that is an excuse. I was just being lazy. After seeing how great S. was doing (18 pounds in 12 weeks) I was motivated to really going back to tracking.

I have tracked for 33 days in a row and am seeing the results. I have lost about 4 pounds and am feeling so much more in control. And, I know when I feel in control of my food, I feel more in control of my life. 

New blog found

This week I discovered a new blog called My Husband is Annoying. This is the blog of a recently married women who is discovering just how annoying her husband can be.  It is hysterical and contains content that all of can probably relate to. If you love your husband, but find that some days he annoys the s*** out of you, then you should check out this blog. 

So, those are the blogs I could have written this week. Now there is no needs as I just provided the readers digest version.

If Money was No Object

I often wonder if money was no object how I would  spend my money.  Images of lavish cars, expensive gems, mansions always come to mind when I think of people who have unlimited resources, but I am pretty sure that is not how I would spend my money. I know that I would travel to all  sorts of exotic places and I can imagine that I would splurge on business class tickets. Is it really splurging if money is no object? 

I know there is a maximum price that I am willing to spend on almost any item. I believe that the maximum price is sometimes in direct proportion to my income. When I was making little money I wouldn’t spend more then 50.00 for a pair of shoes.  Now that my income has increased, so is the amount of money I am willing to spend on a pair of shoes.  There are some items though regardless of my income are never going to be worth more money then what I am willing to spend right now, or even what I was willing to spend 5 years ago. A pair of blue jeans is only ever going to be worth so much money to me and regardless of my income I am never going to spend more then that. There are of course items that if  money was no object I would spend more then I do today, but still have limits.  I can’t ever imagine spending 1,000 dollars (or euro’s) on a handbag. I can’t ever imagine spending 100,000 euros (or dollars) on a car. Unlimited resources or not.

And, then there are those items that if money was no object I would spend obscene amounts of money on. Bed linens, as an example. Yes, you read right. If  I was ever to win the lottery, the first thing I would do is go out and buy the most expensive, luxurious  bed linens…sheets… pillow cases… comforters…. towels… bathrobes….Not pay off our house. Not put money into savings. Not ensure that the college education for our niece and nephew was secured. Not pay off the loans of my brothers.  Not give money to my favorite charities.  Sure, eventually I would do those things but first, if  money was no object, I would head straight  here  for the most lovely linens for bath and kitchen.

The Green Day

Recently I read an article in a magazine about a woman who was completely obsessed about sustainability and introducing every aspect of going green into her daily life. At the end of each day she felt like a complete failure and she thought she had not done enough. I am not talking about doing the normal stuff like recycling your paper or turning off the lights when you leave the room. She was obsessing about things like how she could re-cycle the lint in her dryer. She finally went to a therapist who helped her to get some perspective on the situation and not to beat herself up each day. 

Now, I am far from obsessive about being green. … I do not drive a hybrid car, although a fuel efficient one for sure. I sometimes fall asleep with the tv on and it stays that way all night long, but I certainly care about the environment and try to do things that make it a better place for my niece and nephew in the future.

After reading the article, it occured to me that I could do more to be better to the environment, so on Friday night I announced to my husband that I thought Saturday should be “green day”. We should do everything we could think of to be green. So, how did we do?

If I had to give us a grade, I would grade us a solid B. In the morning we went for a 9 mile walk and instead of buying bottles of water we filled up water bottles and took them with us. We did stop at the Starbucks on our way home, but we got paper cups made out of recycled paper. Guess it could have been better if we had used our water bottles for the coffee. 

Next we were off to the Saturday market for our weekly provisions of fruits, vegetables and meat. We carried our straw basket with us (I am truly  becomming a German) and bought as much bio product as we could. We said ”kein tute, bitte (no bag, please) often. We brought with us the egg carton from last week and re-used that for packaging our eggs for this week.  At the vendor where we get olives we noticed a woman who had brought her own tuperware containers. Hmm, why didn’t I think  of that? Next week, no plastic bags for the olives for me.

After we made breakfast at home,  we headed to Mannheim to do some shopping. Taking the car is cleary not green and given that there are sevral ways we can get to Mannheim via public transportation we decided to not take the car. Yeah for us! Mannheim is about a 20 minutes drive. The train about 40 minutes. It wasn’t so bad. We both took our books and read along the way. Actually very pleasant.  

Purchases made, we got back on the tram and headed home.

The rest of the day passed without incident and like I said if I had to grade it, it would be a B day.

There are things that I realized after the fact that we could have done to be greener, and we will work to incorporate those into our daily lives. For sure just being conscience of being green, helps me to make better choices.

We may start to institute being green Saturday every week.

In what ways are you incorporating green activities into your life?